Okay, ladies, let’s get real for a second. 💁‍♀️ Ever had one of those days where you look in the mirror and just… don’t feel it? Like, where’s that confident, glowing version of yourself you know exists? Yeah, me too. But here’s the thing: confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build. And trust me, I’ve been on a journey to find mine, and I’m here to spill the tea on how I did it. ☕
It all started when I hit a low point. I was in a job I hated, in a relationship that wasn’t serving me, and honestly, I felt like a shadow of myself. I remember sitting in my car one day, crying, and thinking, “How did I get here?” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t overnight. But that moment was my wake-up call. I realized I had been giving my power away—to people, to situations, to my own self-doubt. And I decided enough was enough.
So, I started small. Like, really small. I began by setting tiny goals for myself. Things like, “Today, I’m going to wear that outfit I’ve been saving for a ‘special occasion.’” Or, “I’m going to say no to something I don’t want to do.” Sounds simple, right? But those little wins started adding up. Each time I followed through, I felt a little spark of pride. And that spark? It grew into a flame.
One of the biggest game-changers for me was learning to reframe my self-talk. I used to be my own worst critic. Like, if I made a mistake, I’d berate myself for hours. But I started catching those negative thoughts and flipping them. Instead of, “I’m such an idiot for messing that up,” I’d say, “Okay, that didn’t go as planned, but I learned something.” It sounds cheesy, but it works. Over time, I started believing in myself more because I was choosing to be on my own team.
Another thing that helped was surrounding myself with people who uplifted me. I had to do some serious soul-searching about the relationships in my life. Some friendships were draining me, and I had to let them go. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I started seeking out people who inspired me, who challenged me to be better, and who genuinely celebrated my wins. And let me tell you, having a squad like that? It’s a game-changer.
But here’s the thing: confidence isn’t just about mindset. It’s also about action. I started taking risks—big ones. I quit that job I hated and started freelancing. I ended that toxic relationship and spent time getting to know myself. I even signed up for a public speaking class (and if you know me, you know I hate public speaking). Each time I stepped out of my comfort zone, I felt a little more powerful.
And let’s talk about self-care, because it’s not just bubble baths and face masks (though those are great too). For me, self-care became about setting boundaries and prioritizing my needs. I started saying no to things that didn’t align with my values. I made time for things that brought me joy, like painting and hiking. And I stopped apologizing for taking up space. Because here’s the truth: you deserve to take up space. You deserve to be seen, heard, and valued.
Now, I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out. There are still days when I feel insecure or unsure. But the difference is, I know how to handle those feelings now. I know that confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about embracing your imperfections and owning who you are.
So, if you’re feeling stuck or unsure of yourself, I want you to know this: you are stronger than you think. You have this incredible power inside you, just waiting to be unleashed. Start small, be kind to yourself, and surround yourself with people who lift you up. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to take up space. Because the world needs your light, your voice, and your unique magic. ✨