Okay, so let’s get real for a second. 👀 Have you ever felt like you’re just… stuck at work? Like you’re doing all the right things, but somehow, you’re not moving forward? Yeah, me too. I was that person who would sit in meetings, quietly nodding along, while secretly wondering why everyone else seemed so sure of themselves. Spoiler alert: I’m not that person anymore. And today, I’m spilling the tea on how I went from “What am I even doing here?” to “I’ve got this, and I’m owning it.”
It all started with a moment of clarity—or maybe it was a moment of frustration, I can’t remember. But I realized something: confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you build. And guess what? Building it is a lot like building muscle. You don’t just wake up one day and bench press 200 pounds. You start small, you practice, and eventually, you get stronger.
So, here’s what I did. First, I stopped comparing myself to others. Easier said than done, right? But hear me out. I used to look at my colleagues—especially the ones who seemed to have it all together—and think, “Why can’t I be like them?” But then it hit me: they’re probably just as unsure as I am. They’re just better at faking it. So, I decided to fake it too. And you know what? The more I faked it, the less I had to fake it.
Next, I started owning my wins. Sounds simple, but how often do we actually do this? For me, it was like, “Oh, I just got lucky,” or “It wasn’t that big of a deal.” Nope. Not anymore. I started keeping a “win journal” (yes, it’s a thing), where I wrote down every little accomplishment, no matter how small. Did I nail that presentation? Win journal. Did I handle a difficult client like a pro? Win journal. Did I finally figure out how to use that stupid software? Win journal. Over time, this became my go-to confidence booster. Whenever I felt like I wasn’t good enough, I’d flip through it and remind myself of all the times I absolutely crushed it.
Another game-changer for me was learning to ask for feedback. I used to be terrified of this. Like, what if they told me I was terrible at my job? But here’s the thing: feedback isn’t about judgment; it’s about growth. I started asking my manager, my peers, even my direct reports for their honest opinions. And you know what? Most of the time, their feedback was way more positive than I expected. But even when it wasn’t, it gave me something to work on—and that’s empowering.
Oh, and let’s not forget about networking. I used to dread networking events. The thought of walking into a room full of strangers and trying to make small talk was enough to make me want to crawl under my desk. But then I realized: networking isn’t about collecting business cards; it’s about building relationships. So, I started approaching it differently. Instead of trying to impress everyone, I focused on finding common ground. And you know what? People are a lot more approachable when you’re not trying to sell yourself.
Now, let’s talk about self-care. Because here’s the truth: you can’t be confident if you’re running on empty. For me, this meant setting boundaries. I stopped checking my email at 10 PM. I started taking lunch breaks—actual breaks, where I didn’t eat at my desk while scrolling through Slack. And I made time for the things that made me happy, whether it was yoga, reading, or just binge-watching my favorite show. Because when you take care of yourself, you show up as your best self—and that’s when the magic happens.
Finally, I learned to embrace failure. I know, I know, it sounds cliché. But here’s the thing: failure isn’t the opposite of success; it’s part of the journey. I used to be so afraid of making mistakes that I would avoid taking risks altogether. But then I realized: if I’m not failing, I’m not growing. So, I started taking risks—small ones at first, then bigger ones. And yes, I failed. A lot. But every failure taught me something, and every lesson made me a little more confident.
So, here’s my challenge to you: start small. Fake it till you make it. Own your wins. Ask for feedback. Build relationships. Take care of yourself. And don’t be afraid to fail. Because here’s the thing: confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being brave. And you, my friend, are braver than you think.