Let’s get real for a sec—who here hasn’t had a 2 a.m. scroll through their ex’s Instagram stories while eating cold pizza straight from the box? 🙋♀️ [Insert awkward laugh-cry emoji here] So… I accidentally texted my ex “I miss you” last night. The catch? It’s been 8 months. 🙃 Turns out, my thumb slipped while rage-typing a rant about mismatched socks to my bestie. But you know what? That mortifying blunder became my breakthrough moment. Let’s unpack this messy, glitter-covered journey together.
The Myth of “Getting Over It”
We’ve all heard it: “Time heals everything.” Cool story, but why does it feel like my heart’s stuck in a TikTok loop of our last fight? Neuroscience explains this perfectly: breakups activate the same brain regions as physical pain (thanks, Dr. Fisher’s 2010 fMRI studies). So no, you’re not “weak”—your literal gray matter is throwing a tantrum. I once ugly-cried over a grocery store avocado display because it reminded me of his guacamole recipe. Progress? Debatable. Human? Absolutely.
Stop Romanticizing Closure
Let’s murder this fantasy: closure isn’t a dramatic airport chase scene. My therapist dropped this bomb: “Closure is what you create, not what they give you.” Mind. Blown. I tried the whole “let’s meet for coffee” thing last month. Spoiler: He showed up 20 minutes late and talked about his CrossFit gains for 45 minutes. The closure? Realizing I’d rather listen to elevator music on loop. 🎶
The Magic of Radical Selfishness
Here’s where I went feral (in a good way). For 30 days, I did whatever the hell I wanted:
– Took up pole dancing (turns out I’m 40% coordination, 60% bruises)
– Ate dessert first for dinner (take THAT, societal norms)
– Blocked his mom on Facebook (no more passive-aggressive zucchini bread recipes)
Result? I rediscovered my pre-relationship obsession with 90s boybands. Now my shower concerts feature NSYNC instead of sad Adele ballads. Progress, people.
The Friend Test
My BFF Nora staged an intervention involving tequila and a whiteboard. “List everything you hated about him,” she demanded. Turns out, writing “leaves beard hairs in the sink” 17 times is weirdly therapeutic. Science agrees: UCLA researchers found that verbalizing negative emotions reduces their intensity. Translation: roast your ex (privately) like a MasterChef contestant. 🔥
When Nostalgia Attacks
Memory is a sneaky little editor. That “perfect weekend in Paris”? Let’s recall the food poisoning, the lost luggage, and him complaining about “too many stairs” at Sacré-Cœur. I started a “Reality Check” notes app folder for these rose-tinted moments. Now when I feel wistful, I read entries like “Argued about proper ketchup storage for 45 minutes.” Instant perspective.
The Unsexy Truth About Moving On
Here’s what nobody tells you: healing isn’t linear, it’s more like a Spotify playlist shuffle. Some days you’re Beyoncé (“I woke up like this flawless queen”), others you’re a soggy sock left in the rain. I created a “Wins” jar—every tiny victory (didn’t check his LinkedIn! remembered to hydrate!) gets a note. Emptying it after 3 months? Let’s just say I need a bigger jar.
Final Confession
That accidental text? I didn’t delete it. Instead, I added: “…my peace. Bye, Felicia.” 👑 Then I screenshotted it, printed it on a cake, and ate it with my girls. Because sometimes closure tastes like buttercream and petty revenge.
Your turn: What’s the weirdest thing that helped you heal? Drop it below—we’re all gloriously messy here. 💖