Okay, let’s get real for a sec. 💸 Raise your hand if you’ve ever done any of these:
– Held your breath while checking your bank balance
– Felt guilty buying a $7 latte even though you totally earned it
– Had a full-blown identity crisis when negotiating a salary
…Just me? 🙋♀️
Turns out, my messy relationship with money wasn’t just about spreadsheets or side hustles. It all came crashing down during what I now call “The Great Avocado Toast Meltdown of 2022” – when I literally cried over brunch because my partner suggested splitting the bill. 🥑😭 That’s when I discovered financial therapy, and holy guacamole, did it rewrite my money story.
Here’s the tea: Our childhood money scripts are like invisible puppeteers. Mine? A charming combo of “Rich people are greedy” (thanks, Grandma’s Depression-era trauma) and “You’ll never be good with numbers” (shoutout to my 3rd grade math teacher). Researchers at the Financial Therapy Association found that 68% of money behaviors are shaped by age 7. Let that sink in. 🧠
My “Aha!” moment: During a therapy session, I recreated my childhood kitchen table. Plastic fruit included. 🍌 My therapist had me role-play 8-year-old me overhearing my parents argue about hospital bills. Turns out, my “irrational” fear of investing wasn’t about stocks – it was about subconsciously believing money = conflict. Mind. Blown.
The science bit (made fun):
– Mirror neurons explain why you instinctively clutch your purse when someone mentions credit cards (thanks, Mom)
– Episodic memory is why tax season smells like dad’s old accounting ledgers (weird but true)
– Attachment theory applies to money too – are you anxious (checking accounts 10x/day), avoidant (“Bills? What bills?”), or securely attached?
Three weirdly effective things I tried:
1. Money journaling to Taylor Swift songs (trust me): Writing down cash flow fears to “Shake It Off” hits different
2. Rewriting family money mantras: Swapped “We can’t afford that” with “How can we create that?”
3. Touching actual cash – turns out Venmo doesn’t activate the brain’s “abundance circuits”
The juicy part: When I finally confronted my money trauma, wild things happened. I:
– Negotiated a 20% raise without vomiting (big win)
– Stopped self-sabotaging gigs that paid “too much”
– Bought the damn latte AND invested in stocks (take that, Grandma’s ghost)
Your homework (if you want it):
Next time you feel a money meltdown coming:
1. Ask: “Is this CURRENT me or 8-YEAR-OLD me panicking?”
2. Do something rebellious with $5 that childhood-you couldn’t
3. Text a friend one honest money confession (we’re all faking it)
Final thought: Healing money wounds isn’t about becoming a Wall Street wolf. It’s about untangling the strings so your bank account reflects YOUR values – not generational fears. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy avocado toast… and actually enjoy it. 😘