Okay, let’s get real. Yesterday I ugly-cried over avocado toast. 🥑💦 Not because of PMS or a bad breakup, but because the smashed avo looked “too chunky” and the Everything Bagel seasoning was unevenly distributed. As I stood there clutching my $7 artisanal sourdough, it hit me: This is what perfectionism does to grown-ass women.
We’ve all swallowed the “good enough” lie – that magical threshold where we’ll finally feel competent, lovable, and Instagram-filter worthy. But here’s the kicker: Neuroscience shows our brains literally can’t recognize “enough.” The anterior cingulate cortex (fancy term for our mental error-detector) gets more activated when we’re almost-perfect versus clearly failing. Translation? We’re wired to obsess over the 5% missing, not celebrate the 95% achieved. 🤯
My wake-up call came during pottery class (because of course it involved $45/hour mud-play). Watching my lopsided mug collapse for the third time, our instructor dropped this truth bomb: “The Japanese repair broken pottery with gold lacquer – they call it kintsugi. The flaws become the art.” Meanwhile, I’d been treating my life like disposable IKEA dishware.
Let’s dissect the “good enough” myths keeping us stuck:
Myth 1: “Done is better than perfect”
Reality: A 2022 Stanford study revealed that perfectionists actually take LONGER to complete tasks when told this. Why? We interpret it as “do mediocre work quickly.” The sweet spot? Reframe it as “Progress protects perfection.” I now ask: “Will polishing this email header for 20 minutes make the actual message better?” (Spoiler: Nope. Send it, Barbara.)
Myth 2: “Self-care will fix everything”
Reality: Burning through scented candles and sheet masks while mentally rehearsing work presentations isn’t relaxation – it’s perfectionism in pajamas. True rest requires strategic imperfection. I schedule “F- It Hours” (yes, calendar-blocked) where I intentionally create “bad” art, send emails with typos, and cook microwave nachos. The world didn’t end. My cortisol levels did.
Myth 3: “Successful people never settle”
Reality: Olympic gymnast Simone Biles famously said “I’m not the next Usain Bolt or Michael Phelps – I’m the first Simone Biles.” That’s targeted excellence. Perfectionism is spreading yourself thin; progress is choosing your battlefields. I now have a “VIP List” (Very Intentional Priorities) – currently: 1) Client projects 2) Sleep hygiene 3) Not poisoning my cat with experimental tuna casseroles. Everything else gets the “meh” treatment.
The turning point? Tracking my “imperfection wins”:
– Sent a pitch with GIFs instead of polished infographics → Landed client
– Wore mismatched socks to networking event → Met future biz partner in line for coffee
– Posted unedited vacation pics showing sunburn peeling → 23% more engagement
Turns out, what feels like “settling” to perfectionists reads as “relatable” to normal humans. Who knew?
Here’s your anti-perfectionism toolkit:
1. The 24-Hour Glitch Rule
If a mistake won’t matter in 24 hours (spoiled milk in coffee, typo in group chat), let it go faster than Elsa.
2. Practice “Reverse Perfection”
Intentionally create something awful daily – my abstract finger-painting series looks like a toddler’s crime scene. It’s liberating.
3. The “But Did You Die?” Mantra
Channel your inner Jennifer Lawrence. Forgot to iron your shirt? Burned cookies? Missed a deadline? Unless it involved an ambulance… breathe.
The real magic happens when we stop treating life like a performance and start treating it like an experiment. My avocado toast still looks rustic AF, but you know what? It tastes the damn same. 🥑✨