Okay girls, let’s get real for a sec 💁♀️. Remember that viral TikTok about “girl dinner”? Well, I’ve invented something better: girl boundaries. Last Tuesday, I canceled three plans in one day (including brunch with my frenemy Jessica and her kale smoothie obsession) and you know what happened? I found time to finish Iron Flame AND take a 2-hour bubble bath. Revolutionary.
For years, I was the human equivalent of a “Yes” button emoji. Work late? Sure! Host book club? Why not! Babysit my neighbor’s demon chihuahua? 🐶🔪 (That one still haunts me). Then came The Burnout™ – that glorious moment when I found myself crying over expired Greek yogurt at 2 AM. Turns out, constantly people-pleasing makes you about as stable as TikTok’s relationship advice.
Here’s the tea ☕: Neurologists say every “yes” literally rewires your brain to prioritize others’ needs over yours. Dr. Emily Anhalt (a clinical psychologist I stan) calls it “empathy addiction” – we get hooked on the dopamine hit of being needed. But girl, your nervous system wasn’t designed to be a 24/7 emotional support water bottle.
Let’s break this down like my last situationship:
1️⃣ The Myth of “Maybe Later”
That coworker who keeps dumping her slides on you? Science says she’s not evil – just strategically forgetful. A 2022 UC Berkeley study found people are 73% more likely to push tasks onto “agreeable” colleagues. My fix? “I’d love to help, but I’m optimizing my workflow this quarter!” Translation: My calendar’s drier than your husband’s humor, Janet, and I like it that way.
2️⃣ The Friendship Audit
We’ve all got that one friend who treats hangouts like emotional dumpster fires. I started using Marie Kondo’s method: “Does this relationship spark joy or existential dread?” When my yoga buddy kept trauma-dumping during downward dog? “Namaste away from me, Brenda.”
3️⃣ The Art of the Smooth Exit
My personal script:
– For toxic positivity pals: “That’s such a vibe! Sadly my vibe curfew is 8 PM ✨”
– For guilt-trippers: “I’d hate to half-ass supporting you!” (Said while already walking backward)
– For family: “I’m manifesting space for ancestral healing!” (Works every time)
Last month, I tried a “November” challenge – declining one non-essential thing daily. The results? Got promoted (turns out protecting focus > fake teamwork), reconnected with painting, and finally had time to fix my Bumble bio.
Your homework: Next time someone asks for unpaid labor (emotional or actual), say this: “Let me check my ~sacred inner child alignment schedule~” then ghost like Gen Z’s attention span. Your future self will send you a psychic bouquet.
