Okay ladies, let’s get real. 👯♀️ Last week, I accidentally ordered a pumpkin spice latte with oat milk instead of my usual “vanilla basic” order… and you know what? The barista gave me this look like I’d just solved quantum physics. Suddenly, I found myself doing this awkward little hair flip and saying, “Yeah, I’m feeling adventurous today 💁♀️.” And guess what? That latte was FIRE. 🔥 But here’s the kicker – I didn’t actually like pumpkin spice. At all. Yet somehow, faking that tiny burst of confidence made me walk out feeling like Beyoncé after a Coachella performance.
Which got me thinking: why do we treat confidence like some rare designer handbag only certain people deserve? Spoiler: It’s already in your closet. 👜
Science backs this up big time. A Harvard study (don’t worry, I’ll translate the boring bits) found that adopting “power poses” for just two minutes increases testosterone by 20% and decreases cortisol (the stress hormone) by 25%. Translation: Standing like Wonder Woman in your bathroom mirror = actual biochemical swagger. 🦸♀️ But here’s where it gets juicy – confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being stubbornly okay with your beautifully messy self.
Let me drop some tea ☕. My first podcast recording? I showed up wearing two different earrings and spent 20 minutes hyperventilating into a paper bag. But when I finally hit “record,” I channeled my inner Rihanna – not the flawless vocals, but that unapologetic “I woke up like this” energy. The episode wasn’t perfect, but listeners DM’d saying it felt “real.” That’s when I realized: Confidence isn’t armor. It’s permission to be human.
Now let’s talk about the sneaky confidence killers we all fall for:
• “I’ll speak up when I’m expert-level” (Newsflash: Expertise is just organized curiosity)
• “They’ll think I’m arrogant” (Said no one ever to Brené Brown)
• “My idea isn’t revolutionary” (Neither was sliced bread… until it was)
Here’s my controversial take: Fake it till you become it. Not “fake it till you make it” – that implies there’s some finish line. Nope. Start small:
1. Next coffee order? Say it like you’re announcing royalty. “I’ll have the MATCHA LATTE” 👑
2. Wear the red lipstick to grocery shopping. Let Karens clutch their pearls. 💄
3. Answer “How are you?” with something other than “tired.” Try “ferociously average” or “plotting world domination.”
And here’s the secret sauce nobody tells you: Confidence grows when you stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel. That influencer with the perfect morning routine? She probably has spinach in her teeth half the time. 🥬
Let’s get uncomfortably vulnerable. My “confidence breakthrough” happened during a disastrous Tinder date where I:
• Spilled merlot on my white blouse
• Accidentally called him “Dad” (don’t ask)
• Got caught in a lie about liking hiking
Instead of fleeing, I burst out laughing. “Well, this is going on my future TED Talk.” And suddenly? The pressure vanished. He laughed too. We’re now… absolutely nothing! But that moment taught me: Confidence is just choosing curiosity over criticism.
So here’s your homework: Do one thing this week that scares your inner people-pleaser. Send that risky text. Wear the leopard print pants. Disagree politely. And when that voice whispers “Who do you think you are?,” smile and whisper back: “Someone who drinks pumpkin spice lattices now, apparently.” 😉