Okay, real talk: Have you ever nervously laughed after saying you want to crush your career goals? Or sprinkled “just” into emails like confetti? (“Just wondering if maybe…” ✨) I used to do this religiously – until I spent three months interviewing 15 wildly successful female founders. What I learned? We’ve been gaslighting ourselves with politeness. Let me explain…
The “Just” Epidemic (And Why It’s Killing Your Cred)
One founder – let’s call her Maya – dropped this bomb during our latte chat: “I fired a client who kept calling me ‘feisty.’ My male COO? He’s ‘passionate.'” 😤 Her story made me audit my own language. Turns out, I’d used “just” 27 times in one workweek. Research shows women disproportionately use minimizing language (looking at you, “sorry to bother you!”) which makes us appear 23% less confident even when we’re equally qualified.
The Coffee Shop Epiphany ☕
Here’s where it gets juicy: When I started experimenting with unapologetic communication, magic happened. Instead of “I just think we could…” I tried “Data shows our conversion lifts by 18% if we…” Result? My ideas suddenly had “weight.” A fashion tech CEO put it best: “Stop bringing cupcakes to board meetings. Bring spreadsheets. Then eat the damn cupcakes yourself.” 🧁
Failure Parties & Other Radical Acts
The most surprising insight? Every single founder had a catastrophic failure story – and they weaponized it. One app developer shared how her first startup’s collapse became her VC pitch hook: “I spent $200K learning what NOT to build. Want the cheat codes?” Studies indicate entrepreneurs who publicly own failures secure 34% more funding. Why? It screams “I won’t fold under pressure.”
The 3 AM Friend Test
Let’s get practical. A sustainability innovator taught me her hiring trick: “I ask candidates what they’d do if I died suddenly. If they look horrified, not fired up to lead? Wrong fit.” Extreme? Maybe. But it reveals who’s truly invested. Build your inner circle with people who’d run toward chaos, not flee it.
Your New Non-Negotiable
After these conversations, I implemented two rules:
1) The 24-Hour Ego Diet – When criticized, I wait a day before reacting. Turns out 80% of “offenses” are misunderstandings.
2) Vulnerability Veto – Share one uncomfortable truth per meeting. (Example: “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” builds more trust than fake certainty.)
The Unspoken Truth About ‘Having It All’
Here’s what nobody tells you: Every founder admitted to crying in supply closets. A biohacking guru said it plainly: “My ‘overnight success’ took 11 years and two divorces.” The difference? They stopped viewing struggle as failure. One study tracking 500 startups found that leaders who normalized struggle had 40% lower team turnover.
Final Boss Level: Permission to Want More
My biggest takeaway? Ambition isn’t something to temper – it’s your superpower. As a crypto founder told me: “Men apply for jobs they’re 60% qualified for. Women wait until 110%. I now hire women who terrify me with their hunger.” 🦁
So here’s your challenge: For one week, eliminate “just/sorry/apologies” from work emails. Watch how people lean in. Then? Go demand that raise/pitch that idea/launch that side hustle. The world’s waiting for your particular brand of glorious, unbridled ambition. No cupcakes required.