Okay ladies, let’s get real. I’m sitting here with my third oat milk latte ☕, staring at a spreadsheet that’s basically my sleep paralysis demon at this point, and I suddenly realize: this is what empowerment tastes like. It’s bitter, overpriced, and weirdly addictive.
Three years ago, I launched my eco-friendly lingerie brand from my Brooklyn studio apartment (shoutout to my bathtub-dyeing phase 🛁). Today, we’re in 12 boutiques nationwide. But here’s the tea 🍵 they don’t pour at female founder panels: My “overnight success” involved 732 nights of crying into Trader Joe’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups.
The Ugly Truth About Girlboss Gaslighting
Remember when that male investor asked if I’d “considered partnering with someone more experienced” (translation: male)? I smiled while mentally redesigning his toupee into a hamster hammock. 🐹 Research shows women-led startups receive just 2% of VC funding – but we deliver 78% higher ROI. Let that math marinate.
Our Secret Weapon?
Turns out years of apologizing for existing makes us killer problem-solvers. That time I negotiated with a 7-year-old’s lemonade stand? Gold training for supplier contracts. My ability to fix the office WiFi in stilettos? CEO material.
The Data Don’t Lie
– Companies with female execs have 19% higher innovation revenue (Boston Consulting Group)
– Women-led teams deliver 35% higher return on equity (Peterson Institute)
– 58% of female founders bootstrap their businesses (hello, maxed-out credit cards 💳)
But here’s my real hack: embrace the hot mess. That viral TikTok about my shipping delays? Gained 12K loyal customers who loved my raw transparency. The time I accidentally sent 300 neon thongs to a Utah convent? Now our best-selling “Nun’s Secret” line.
Building Your Wolfpack
I’ve got:
– A WhatsApp group called “Estrogen & EBITDA” 📈
– Emergency wine deliveries from founder besties
– Scheduled ugly-cry sessions (pro tip: waterproof mascara)
Last week, a 22-year-old intern asked my advice. I told her: “Your anxiety isn’t weakness – it’s your Spidey-sense. That pit in your stomach? It’s just your ovaries growing titanium.”
So here’s my challenge: Comment below with one thing you’ll start this week – even if it’s just a Google Doc titled “Future Empire” 👑. Let’s normalize being gloriously imperfect capitalists.