Okay, let’s spill the chamomile tea ☕. Last Tuesday, I canceled plans with my actual soulmate (my weighted blanket) to go on a date with a guy who described himself as a “spiritual crypto bro.” By dessert, he’d compared my career to “cute little girl Lego-building” and asked if I’d ever consider lip filler. Classic.
Here’s my epiphany: modern dating isn’t a rom-com – it’s a chess game where half the players don’t know the rules. But what if we weaponized logic without turning into emotionless robots? Let’s dissect this.
The 70-30 Feels Ratio 🧮
Science says new romance spikes dopamine like a TikTok dopamine detox ad. But drowning in heart-eyes emojis? Dangerous. My rule: spend 70% energy observing his patterns, 30% analyzing your own butterflies.
Example: When “Matt” (name changed, drama avoided) texted me poems daily for two weeks then vanished, my 70% brain noted: “Inconsistent effort = future headaches.” My 30% heart still rewrote our meet-cute as a Taylor Swift bridge. But logic won – he reappeared 3 months later with a “u up?” text. Shocker.
The Three-Date Data Rule 📊
Ever fallen for potential instead of reality? Same, bestie. Now I treat first dates like UX research:
1. Date 1: Does he ask questions? (Basic human decency check ✅)
2. Date 2: How does he handle minor conflicts? (I “accidentally” order expensive wine 🍷)
3. Date 3: Observe how he treats service staff vs. you.
My friend Clara discovered her “feminist ally” date tipped 5% and mansplained tacos to the waiter. Adiós, warrior of patriarchy.
The Emotional ROI Spreadsheet 📈
Investing in a man isn’t cold – it’s survival. I track:
– Energy spent over thoughtful gestures received
– Vulnerability shared vs. emotional labor performed
– Days between “I’ll plan something special” and actual plans
When “Jake’s” ROI dipped below my self-respect dividend? I pulled out my stocks. His loss – my portfolio’s thriving.
Conclusion?
Being logical ≠ being heartless. It’s about protecting your magic while screening for humans worthy of it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m swiping left on astrological signs and right on emotional maturity. ✨