Hey girls! Today I’m spilling the tea on building confidence and being assertive. I used to be that girl who’d just nod along, afraid to speak up. But not anymore!
You know, growing up, I was always told to be nice, to not make waves. So whenever I had an opinion that differed from others, I’d swallow it down. I’d let people walk all over me in group projects, at work, even in social settings. It was like I was invisible, and my voice didn’t matter.
One day, I was at a meeting at work. We were discussing a new project, and I had this brilliant idea. I could feel it bubbling inside me, but as soon as I opened my mouth to share it, I saw a couple of colleagues give me that look. You know the one, like “Who does she think she is?” And I just clammed up. I let the moment pass, and someone else ended up saying basically the same thing later and got all the credit. That was my wake-up call.
I realized that if I wanted to get anywhere in life, I needed to find my voice and be assertive. But it wasn’t easy. I started small. I practiced saying no to things I didn’t want to do. Like when a friend asked me to go to a party that I knew would be full of drama and people I didn’t really like. In the past, I’d have just gone along to keep the peace. But this time, I took a deep breath and said, “Thanks, but I’m going to pass. I’ve got other plans.” And you know what? The sky didn’t fall. My friend was a bit surprised, but she respected my decision.
Then came the bigger challenges. At work, I started speaking up in meetings. I’d raise my hand and share my thoughts, even if I was a bit nervous. I prepared myself beforehand, making sure I knew what I was talking about. I’d do research, jot down key points. And when I did speak, I made sure to look people in the eye, speak clearly, and project confidence.
It wasn’t always smooth sailing. There were times when people tried to shut me down or dismiss my ideas. But I didn’t let it get to me. I reminded myself that my ideas were valid, and just because they didn’t see it that way at first didn’t mean they were right. I’d calmly explain my reasoning, and sometimes, I even managed to change their minds.
In social situations too, I became more assertive. If someone was being rude or crossing my boundaries, I’d call them out on it. Not in an aggressive way, but just firmly stating that their behavior wasn’t okay. For example, there was this one guy at a party who kept making inappropriate comments. Instead of just smiling nervously and trying to avoid him like I used to, I looked him straight in the eye and said, “Your comments are inappropriate and I don’t appreciate them. Please stop.” He was taken aback, but he did stop, and I felt amazing for standing up for myself.
Building confidence and being assertive is a journey. There are still days when I doubt myself, when I feel that old insecurity creeping back. But I’ve come so far, and I know that I can keep going. I’ve learned that it’s okay to put myself first sometimes, to value my own opinions and needs.
So to all you amazing women out there, don’t be afraid to find your voice. Be assertive, because you deserve to be heard and respected. We all have something valuable to offer, and it’s time we showed the world what we’re made of! 💖