Okay, let’s get real for a second. Parenting is HARD. Like, why didn’t anyone warn us that it’s basically a 24/7 job with no vacation days, no paycheck, and the occasional tantrum (and I’m not just talking about the kids)? 😅 But here’s the thing: I’ve been on this wild ride for a while now, and I’ve learned a few things about raising kids with confidence and love—without losing my sanity in the process. So, grab a coffee (or wine, no judgment here), and let’s dive in.
First off, let’s talk about confidence. Not just theirs—ours. Because let’s be honest, half the time, I’m winging it. But here’s the secret: kids can smell fear. Okay, maybe not literally, but they can totally sense when we’re unsure of ourselves. And guess what? That makes them unsure too. So, I’ve learned to fake it till I make it. Even when I’m internally screaming, “What do I do now?!” I try to project calm and confidence. It’s like being the CEO of a tiny, chaotic company. You don’t have to have all the answers, but you do have to act like you do.
Now, let’s talk about love. And no, I’m not just talking about the mushy, “I love you to the moon and back” kind of love (although that’s important too). I’m talking about the kind of love that shows up when things get tough. The kind of love that says, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m here for you—even when you’re acting like a tiny dictator.” This kind of love is about connection. It’s about putting down your phone, looking them in the eye, and really listening. It’s about saying, “I’m sorry,” when you mess up (because let’s face it, we all do). It’s about creating a safe space where they feel valued and understood.
But here’s the kicker: confidence and love aren’t just about what we give to our kids—they’re also about what we model for them. Kids are like little sponges, soaking up everything we do and say. So, if we want them to be confident, we need to show them what confidence looks like. That means taking care of ourselves, setting boundaries, and not being afraid to stand up for what we believe in. It means showing them that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as we learn from them.
And love? Well, that’s about showing them how to love themselves and others. It’s about teaching them empathy, kindness, and respect—not just through words, but through our actions. It’s about showing them that love isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “This all sounds great, but how do I actually do it?” Honestly, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Every kid is different, and every parent is different. But here are a few things that have worked for me:
1. Be present. I know, I know—easier said than done. But even just 10 minutes of undivided attention can make a world of difference. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and just be with them. Whether it’s playing a game, reading a book, or just talking about their day, those moments of connection are priceless.
2. Let them fail. This one’s tough, I’ll admit. It’s hard to watch your kid struggle, whether it’s with a math problem or a friendship. But here’s the thing: failure is how we learn. It’s how we build resilience. So, as much as I want to swoop in and save the day, I try to step back and let them figure it out. (Of course, I’m still there to offer support and guidance—just not to do it for them.)
3. Celebrate their uniqueness. Every kid is different, and that’s something to celebrate. Whether they’re into sports, art, science, or something totally random, I try to encourage their passions—even if I don’t always understand them. (Like, who knew there were so many types of dinosaurs?!)
4. Take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, as they say. So, I’ve learned to prioritize self-care—whether it’s a bubble bath, a workout, or just a few minutes of quiet with a good book. Because when I’m at my best, I can be the best parent for my kids.
5. Be kind to yourself. Let’s face it: we’re all going to mess up. We’re going to lose our temper, make the wrong call, or just have a bad day. And that’s okay. What matters is that we learn from it and keep trying. So, I’ve learned to give myself grace—and to remind myself that I’m doing the best I can.
At the end of the day, parenting is a journey—one that’s messy, challenging, and incredibly rewarding. It’s about raising kids who are confident, kind, and resilient. And it’s about doing it with love—even when it’s hard. So, here’s to all the parents out there, doing the best they can. You’ve got this. 💪