So, I was scrolling through my feed the other day, and I stumbled upon this post about “marriage hacks.” 🕵️‍♀️ I chuckled because, honestly, marriage isn’t something you can hack. It’s more like a slow-cooked stew—you gotta keep stirring, tasting, and adjusting the seasoning. Anyway, it got me thinking about my own journey with my husband, and I thought, why not share some of the things that have worked for us? Spoiler alert: it’s not about grand gestures or fairy-tale moments. It’s about the little, everyday things that add up to something beautiful.
First off, let’s talk about communication. I know, I know—it’s the most cliché advice ever. But hear me out. Early in our marriage, I used to think that if my husband truly loved me, he’d just know what I needed. Like, he’d magically sense that I wanted him to do the dishes without me asking. 😂 Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead, we ended up in this cycle of me feeling resentful and him feeling confused. It wasn’t until I started being direct (but kind) about my needs that things started to change. For example, instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” I’d say, “Hey, I’m feeling overwhelmed with the chores. Could you take care of the dishes tonight?” It’s amazing how a simple shift in wording can make all the difference.
Now, let’s dive into the importance of quality time. And no, I’m not talking about those Instagram-perfect date nights where you’re both dressed to the nines. I’m talking about the lazy Sunday mornings when you’re both in your pajamas, sipping coffee, and talking about nothing and everything. Those are the moments that really glue you together. One thing we’ve started doing is having a weekly “check-in.” It’s not a formal thing—just a time to sit down and ask each other, “How are you really doing?” It’s amazing how much closer you feel when you take the time to truly listen to each other.
Another thing that’s been a game-changer for us is learning to fight fair. Let’s be real—every couple argues. But it’s how you argue that matters. Early on, we’d get into these heated debates where we’d both say things we didn’t mean. It wasn’t until we started implementing the “time-out” rule that things got better. If things got too heated, one of us would call a time-out, and we’d take a break to cool down. When we came back, we’d approach the issue with a calmer mindset. It’s not about winning the argument; it’s about understanding each other’s perspective.
And then there’s the whole “keeping the spark alive” thing. I used to think that meant planning these elaborate date nights or surprising each other with expensive gifts. But over time, I’ve realized that it’s the small, consistent acts of love that keep the flame burning. For us, it’s things like leaving little notes for each other, holding hands while watching TV, or just saying “I love you” every single day. It’s not about the grand gestures; it’s about showing up for each other in the little ways.
One thing I’ve also learned is the importance of maintaining your individuality. When you’re married, it’s easy to lose yourself in the “we.” But I’ve found that the healthiest relationships are the ones where both partners have their own interests and passions. For example, I love painting, and my husband is into woodworking. We make sure to carve out time for our hobbies, and it actually makes us appreciate each other more. Plus, it gives us something to talk about other than the usual “How was your day?”
Lastly, I want to touch on the power of gratitude. It’s so easy to focus on the things your partner isn’t doing, but I’ve found that when I focus on the things they are doing, it completely shifts my perspective. For example, instead of getting annoyed that my husband didn’t fold the laundry, I’ll thank him for taking out the trash. It’s amazing how a little gratitude can transform your relationship.
So, there you have it—some of the things that have helped us cultivate a harmonious union. It’s not always easy, and it definitely takes work, but it’s so worth it. At the end of the day, marriage is about choosing each other, day after day, even when it’s hard. And trust me, the rewards are beyond anything you can imagine.