Okay, so let’s get real for a second. Dating in your 30s is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. You’re standing there with a bunch of random pieces, wondering how they’re supposed to fit together, and occasionally questioning if you even have the right parts. 😅
I’ve been on this wild ride for a while now, and let me tell you, it’s been a mix of hilarious, heartbreaking, and downright confusing moments. But through it all, I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating the complexities of love without losing my sanity. So, grab a cup of coffee (or wine, no judgment here), and let’s dive into the messy, beautiful world of modern dating.
First off, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: dating apps. Ah, the modern-day matchmaker. Swipe right, swipe left, and suddenly you’re chatting with someone who might be your soulmate… or just really good at taking selfies. I’ve had my fair share of app adventures, from the guy who only talked about his cat (yes, just the one) to the one who ghosted me after three amazing dates. Spoiler alert: I’m still not over that one.
But here’s the thing about dating apps—they’re not the enemy. They’re just a tool, like a hammer or a blender. It’s all about how you use them. I’ve learned to approach them with a mix of curiosity and caution. Sure, it’s easy to get caught up in the swiping frenzy, but I’ve found that taking the time to read profiles and ask thoughtful questions can make all the difference. It’s like panning for gold—you have to sift through a lot of dirt to find the shiny bits.
Now, let’s talk about expectations. Because oh boy, do we have a lot of them. Society, movies, and even our well-meaning friends have painted this picture of what love is supposed to look like. But here’s the truth: love doesn’t always come wrapped in a neat little bow. Sometimes it’s messy, complicated, and doesn’t fit into the boxes we’ve created for it.
I used to have this checklist of what I wanted in a partner—tall, funny, successful, loves dogs, etc. But over time, I’ve realized that while it’s good to have standards, being too rigid can close you off to amazing possibilities. I’ve dated guys who didn’t check all my boxes, but they taught me things about myself and what I truly value in a relationship. So now, I’m more open to the unexpected. Who knows? Maybe my person is someone I wouldn’t have swiped right on at first glance.
And then there’s the whole timing thing. Ugh, timing. It’s like the universe’s favorite joke. You meet someone amazing, but they’re not ready. Or you’re finally ready, but they’re not the right person. It’s frustrating, I know. But here’s what I’ve learned: timing is just another way of saying “not meant to be.” When it’s right, it’ll feel right. And until then, it’s okay to focus on yourself and your own growth.
Speaking of growth, let’s talk about self-love. Because honey, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I’ve been on dates where I felt like I was auditioning for the role of “perfect girlfriend,” and let me tell you, it’s exhausting. It took me a while to realize that I don’t need to be perfect to be loved. I just need to be me—flaws and all.
Self-love isn’t about being selfish or narcissistic. It’s about knowing your worth and not settling for less than you deserve. It’s about setting boundaries and sticking to them, even when it’s hard. And it’s about being kind to yourself, especially when things don’t go as planned. Because let’s face it, dating is a rollercoaster, and sometimes you just need to give yourself a hug and say, “You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”
Now, let’s address the fear of being alone. It’s a big one, isn’t it? We’re taught that being single is some kind of failure, like we’re incomplete without a partner. But here’s the truth: being single is not a curse. It’s an opportunity—to explore, to grow, to figure out who you are and what you want.
I’ve had periods of being single that were some of the most transformative times of my life. I traveled, took up new hobbies, and built deeper connections with friends and family. And you know what? I didn’t just survive being single—I thrived. So if you’re in that space right now, embrace it. Use it to become the best version of yourself. Because when you’re happy and fulfilled on your own, you’ll attract the right kind of love into your life.
Finally, let’s talk about patience. Because let’s be real, dating can test your patience like nothing else. It’s easy to get discouraged when things don’t work out or when you feel like you’re running out of time. But here’s the thing: love isn’t a race. It’s a journey, and everyone’s path is different.
I’ve learned to trust the process and believe that everything happens for a reason. The heartbreaks, the disappointments, the false starts—they’ve all led me to where I am today. And while I don’t have all the answers, I’m okay with that. Because love isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being open to the possibilities and embracing the journey, wherever it may lead.
So, to all my fellow daters out there, keep going. Keep swiping, keep smiling, and keep believing in love. Because at the end of the day, love is worth it. And so are you. 💖