Okay, ladies, let’s get real for a second. 💁‍♀️ How many of us have been on dates that felt like a job interview? Or worse, a bad job interview where you’re just counting down the minutes until you can ghost them? 🙃 Yeah, me too. Dating in the modern world is a wild ride, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably learned some hard lessons along the way. But here’s the thing: those lessons? They’re gold. So, grab your coffee (or wine, no judgment here), and let’s talk about love, dating, and why you should never settle for less than you deserve.
First off, let’s address the elephant in the room: dating apps. They’re a blessing and a curse, right? On one hand, they’ve made it easier than ever to meet people. On the other hand, they’ve turned dating into a swipe-and-skip culture where everyone’s disposable. I used to think that if I just swiped enough, I’d find “the one.” Spoiler alert: I didn’t. What I did find, though, was a lot of guys who thought “hey” was an acceptable opening line. 🙄
Here’s the lesson I learned: dating apps are a tool, not a solution. They’re great for meeting people, but they’re not going to magically hand you a soulmate. You have to be intentional about what you’re looking for. And no, I don’t mean writing a novel in your bio about your “ideal partner.” I mean knowing your worth and not wasting time on people who don’t align with your values.
Speaking of values, let’s talk about red flags. 🚩 Oh, how I wish I’d paid attention to them sooner. Like the guy who talked about his ex on the first date (hard pass) or the one who “forgot” his wallet (twice). Here’s the thing: red flags are there for a reason. They’re not just quirks or things you can “fix.” They’re warnings that this person might not be right for you. And trust me, ignoring them only leads to heartbreak.
But it’s not just about avoiding the bad ones; it’s also about recognizing the good ones. And by “good,” I don’t mean perfect. No one’s perfect, and expecting someone to be is a recipe for disappointment. What I’m talking about is finding someone who respects you, supports you, and makes you feel like the best version of yourself.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that love isn’t about finding someone who completes you. It’s about finding someone who complements you. You should already be complete on your own. A partner should add to your life, not fill a void. That’s why it’s so important to work on yourself first. Figure out what makes you happy, what you want out of life, and what you’re willing to compromise on. Because when you know yourself, you’re less likely to settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you.
And let’s talk about settling for a second. I used to think that being single was the worst thing in the world. I’d see all my friends in relationships and feel like I was falling behind. But here’s the truth: being single is not a failure. It’s an opportunity. It’s a chance to focus on yourself, to grow, and to figure out what you really want. And when you’re ready, it’s a chance to find someone who’s truly right for you, not just someone who’s available.
Another lesson? Communication is key. I can’t tell you how many relationships I’ve seen fall apart because of poor communication. And I’m not just talking about talking; I’m talking about listening. Really listening. It’s about being open and honest, even when it’s uncomfortable. Because if you can’t communicate with your partner, how can you expect to build a life together?
And finally, let’s talk about timing. I used to believe in the whole “right person, wrong time” thing. But here’s the thing: if it’s the right person, it’s the right time. If someone really wants to be with you, they’ll make it work. They’ll prioritize you, even when life gets busy. So, if someone’s giving you excuses about why they can’t commit, it’s not about timing. It’s about them.
So, what’s the takeaway here? Dating is messy, complicated, and sometimes downright exhausting. But it’s also an opportunity to learn, grow, and figure out what you really want. So, don’t settle for less than you deserve. Be intentional, trust your gut, and remember that you’re already enough. The right person will see that and love you for it.
Now, go out there and slay, queen. 👑 You’ve got this.