So, let’s get real for a second. 👀 Ever had one of those days where you’re sitting in a meeting, someone throws out an idea, and you think, “Wow, that’s brilliant… but what if I say something dumb?” Yeah, me too. For the longest time, I was the queen of self-doubt at work. I’d overthink every email, rehearse every conversation, and second-guess every decision. Sound familiar?
But here’s the thing: confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build. And trust me, if I can do it, so can you. Let me take you on a little journey of how I went from being the “quiet one” in the room to someone who actually enjoys speaking up and owning my space.
First off, let’s talk about that little voice in your head. You know the one—the one that whispers, “You’re not good enough” or “What if you mess up?” I used to let that voice run the show. But then I realized something: that voice isn’t the boss of me. It’s just fear dressed up as “caution.” And while fear can be helpful (like, don’t touch that hot stove), it’s not helpful when it’s holding you back from sharing your ideas or taking on that project you’re totally capable of crushing.
So, how did I start quieting that voice? I started small. Like, really small. Instead of aiming to dominate every meeting (because, let’s be honest, that’s intimidating), I set a goal to say one thing. Just one. It could be a question, a comment, or even just agreeing with someone else’s point. And you know what? The world didn’t end. In fact, people actually listened. That was my first “aha” moment: confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up.
Another game-changer for me was learning to embrace failure. Yep, I said it. Failure. It’s not the end of the world—it’s just feedback. I used to avoid taking risks because I was terrified of messing up. But then I realized that the people I admired most weren’t the ones who never failed; they were the ones who failed, learned, and kept going. So, I started reframing failure as a stepping stone instead of a roadblock. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely. But each one taught me something valuable, and that made me feel more capable, not less.
Oh, and let’s not forget about the power of preparation. I’m not talking about obsessing over every detail (been there, done that, it’s exhausting). I’m talking about doing just enough to feel ready. For me, that might mean jotting down a few key points before a presentation or practicing a tough conversation with a friend. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about feeling prepared enough to handle whatever comes your way.
But here’s the secret sauce: confidence isn’t just about what you do—it’s about how you think. I started paying attention to the stories I was telling myself. Instead of thinking, “I’m not qualified for this,” I’d remind myself, “I’ve done hard things before, and I can do this too.” It sounds cheesy, but it works. Your brain believes what you tell it, so why not tell it something empowering?
And let’s talk about the people around you. Surrounding yourself with supportive, encouraging colleagues can make a world of difference. I’m not saying you need a cheer squad (though that would be nice), but having even one person who believes in you can give you the boost you need to believe in yourself. On the flip side, if someone’s constantly undermining your confidence, it’s okay to set boundaries. You don’t need that kind of energy in your life.
One thing I’ve learned is that confidence is contagious. When you start believing in yourself, other people start believing in you too. It’s like this positive feedback loop: the more you step up, the more opportunities come your way, and the more confident you feel. It’s not about being the loudest person in the room—it’s about being the most authentic version of yourself.
So, if you’re sitting there thinking, “But I’m just not a confident person,” I’m here to tell you: you can be. It’s not about flipping a switch; it’s about taking small, consistent steps. Start by saying one thing in a meeting. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. And most importantly, be kind to yourself. Confidence isn’t about being fearless—it’s about knowing you can handle whatever comes your way.
And hey, if all else fails, fake it till you make it. Because sometimes, acting confident is the first step to actually feeling confident. 😉