Okay, let’s get real for a second. Parenting is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions—everyone’s doing it differently, and somehow, we all end up with something that kinda works? 🙃 When I first became a mom, I was obsessed with finding the “right” way to raise my kid. I read all the books, joined the online forums, and even tried to follow that one influencer who made parenting look like a Pinterest board. But guess what? It didn’t take long for me to realize that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising tiny humans.
Let me take you back to the early days. I was all about the “gentle parenting” trend. You know, the one where you’re supposed to validate every emotion, never raise your voice, and basically turn into a zen master overnight. Sounds great in theory, right? But here’s the thing: my toddler didn’t get the memo. One day, during a particularly epic meltdown in the grocery store (over a banana that wasn’t yellow enough), I found myself crouched on the floor, whispering, “I see you’re feeling frustrated,” while other shoppers gave me the side-eye. It was in that moment I thought, “Is this really working? Or am I just making myself look ridiculous?”
That’s when I started questioning everything. Why was I so obsessed with following a specific method? Was it because I wanted to be a “good” mom, or was it because I was scared of being judged? Spoiler alert: it was both. But here’s the truth—parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about figuring out what works for you and your kid, even if it doesn’t fit into a neat little box.
So, I decided to ditch the rulebook and embrace a more flexible approach. I call it “chaos parenting,” and honestly, it’s been a game-changer. Instead of stressing over every little decision, I started trusting my instincts. Did my kid eat chicken nuggets for three days straight? Yep. Did I let him watch an extra episode of his favorite show so I could finish my coffee in peace? Absolutely. And you know what? He’s thriving.
But here’s the thing—this doesn’t mean I’ve completely abandoned structure or discipline. It’s more about finding a balance that works for our family. For example, we have a loose routine, but I’m not going to lose sleep if we deviate from it. I’ve also learned that it’s okay to say no, even if it results in a tantrum. Setting boundaries is important, and it doesn’t make me a bad mom.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that every child is different, and what works for one family might not work for another. I have a friend who swears by the “attachment parenting” method, and it’s been amazing for her and her kids. But for me? It was overwhelming. I felt like I was constantly on call, and it left me drained. When I finally admitted that it wasn’t working for us, it was such a relief.
Another thing I’ve realized is that parenting styles often reflect our own upbringing. I grew up in a pretty strict household, and while I appreciate the discipline it instilled in me, I didn’t want to replicate that with my own child. I wanted to create a more nurturing environment where he felt safe to express himself. But that doesn’t mean I’ve completely rejected my parents’ approach. There are certain values they taught me—like responsibility and respect—that I want to pass on to my son.
Of course, this journey hasn’t been without its challenges. There are still days when I second-guess myself or feel like I’m failing. But I’ve learned to give myself grace. Parenting is hard, and it’s okay to not have all the answers. What matters is that we’re trying our best and showing up for our kids every day.
One thing that’s helped me a lot is connecting with other moms who are going through the same thing. Whether it’s venting over a glass of wine or swapping tips in a mom group, it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. And honestly, some of the best advice I’ve gotten has come from these conversations. Like the time a friend told me, “Your kid doesn’t need a perfect mom. They just need a happy one.” That hit me hard.
So, if you’re out there feeling overwhelmed or unsure about your parenting choices, I want you to know it’s okay. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. The most important thing is that you’re loving and supporting your child in the best way you know how. And if that means letting them wear a superhero cape to the grocery store or bribing them with candy to get through a haircut, so be it.
At the end of the day, parenting is about creating a relationship with your child that’s built on love, trust, and understanding. And that looks different for everyone. So, let’s stop comparing ourselves to others and start embracing the messy, beautiful journey that is raising kids. Because honestly, there’s no greater adventure.