Okay, let’s be real for a second. Parenting is HARD. Like, why didn’t anyone warn me that I’d be Googling “how to get glitter out of carpet” at 2 AM or negotiating with a tiny human about why broccoli is not, in fact, poison? 😂 But amidst the chaos, I’ve been trying to focus on one thing: raising my kids to be confident and compassionate. Because, honestly, the world needs more of that.
So, how do I do it? Well, it’s not about being perfect (thank goodness, because I’m far from it). It’s about being intentional. Let me break it down for you.
First off, confidence. I used to think confidence was something you were either born with or not. Spoiler alert: it’s not. It’s built. And it starts with how we talk to our kids. I’ve made it a point to praise effort, not just results. Like, instead of saying, “You’re so smart!” I’ll say, “I love how hard you worked on that puzzle!” It’s a small shift, but it teaches them that their value isn’t tied to being “the best” but to trying their best.
Another thing? Letting them fail. Ugh, this one is tough. Watching your kid struggle is like watching a slow-motion train wreck. But here’s the thing: failure is where growth happens. My daughter once spent HOURS building a LEGO tower, only for it to collapse. She was devastated. But instead of swooping in to fix it, I sat with her and said, “I know it’s frustrating, but you can try again.” And she did. And when it finally stayed up? The look on her face was priceless. That’s confidence in action.
Now, onto compassion. This one’s close to my heart because, let’s face it, the world can be a pretty harsh place. I want my kids to be the kind of people who make it a little brighter. But how do you teach empathy? For me, it starts with modeling it. Kids are like sponges—they soak up everything we do. So, I try to show them what kindness looks like in everyday life.
For example, we’ve started a little family tradition called “Kindness Fridays.” Every Friday, we do something nice for someone else. It could be baking cookies for a neighbor, writing a thank-you note to their teacher, or even just holding the door open for someone at the store. It’s a small thing, but it’s teaching them to think about others.
Another big one? Talking about feelings. I’ve learned that kids need help understanding their emotions. When my son gets upset, instead of saying, “Stop crying,” I’ll say, “I can see you’re really frustrated. Do you want to talk about it?” It’s amazing how giving them the words to express themselves can diffuse a meltdown. Plus, it helps them understand that their feelings are valid, which is a cornerstone of empathy.
But here’s the thing: none of this is easy. There are days when I feel like I’m failing at this whole parenting thing. Like when I lose my temper because someone spilled juice on the couch for the third time in a week. Or when I’m too tired to have a deep conversation about why it’s important to share.
And that’s okay. Because parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up, even when it’s hard. It’s about apologizing when you mess up (because you will) and trying again tomorrow.
One thing that’s helped me stay grounded is remembering that my kids don’t need a perfect mom—they need a present one. Someone who’s there to cheer them on, wipe their tears, and remind them that they’re loved, no matter what.
So, if you’re out there feeling like you’re not doing enough, take a deep breath. You’re doing better than you think. And your kids? They’re going to be okay. Because at the end of the day, the most important thing we can give them is love.
And maybe a little less glitter. 😉