Okay, let’s get real for a sec. 🙈 Ever found yourself elbow-deep in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s at 2 AM because your bestie’s been “busy” ever since she started dating him? Or worse… have you been the one accidentally ghosting your ride-or-die for a shiny new romance? 👀 Been there, cried into that ice cream carton, and lived to tell the tale. Today’s my overshare hour about navigating the minefield where love and friendship collide.
Let’s rewind to last summer. I met Alex (not his real name, obvi) at a rooftop party. Cue the slow-mo hair flip, accidental eye contact, and all that rom-com nonsense. 🥂 Two weeks later, my BFF Sarah (name changed to protect the fabulous) texted: “Girl, are you alive?” Oops. I’d fallen headfirst into the New Relationship Fog™ – you know, when your brain replaces rational thought with dopamine and sappy playlists.
Here’s where I messed up:
1️⃣ I assumed Sarah would just get it (“She’s my best friend! She’ll understand!”)
2️⃣ I overshared about Alex 24/7 but forgot to ask about her job interview
3️⃣ When she called me out, I pulled the “You’re just jealous” card (cringe)
A 2023 study in the Journal of Social Psychology found that 68% of adults struggle to maintain friendships during new relationships. But here’s the kicker: Participants who kept strong friend connections reported 40% higher relationship satisfaction long-term. Translation? Your squad isn’t competition – they’re your love life’s secret weapon. 💣
The Friendship CPR That Saved Us:
• The 5:1 Text Rule: For every “OMG he kissed my neck!!” message, I sent five non-romance-related ones (“Saw this meme and died 😂” or “Need your opinion on these boots 👢”)
• No-Triangle Dinners: No more “Let’s all hang out!” until month 4. Sarah deserved undivided attention, not third-wheel vibes
• The Brutal Calendar Block: Every Sunday at 4 PM became our non-negotiable walk-and-talk slot. No partners allowed, just kombucha and gossip
But here’s the real tea ☕: My therapist dropped this truth bomb – “We often treat friends like emotional leftovers. If your partner gets the gourmet meal, shouldn’t your friend at least get a proper snack plate?” Mic drop. 🎤
Spot the Red Flags 🚩:
• You feel nervous introducing them to each other
• Your friend uses phrases like “the old you” or “since thing started”
• You lie about how much time you’re spending with your partner
Three months into course-correcting, Sarah and I created our “Relationship Bill of Rights” – yes, we’re extra. Highlights include:
🔹 Right to honest check-ins (“Are we cool?”)
🔹 Right to veto toxic partners (with evidence!)
🔹 Right to disappear during relationship emergencies (with a debrief later)
The glow-up? Alex and I eventually broke up (turns out he hated cats AND pineapple on pizza 🚫🍍). But Sarah? She helped me ugly-cry through it while building a “dump him” playlist. Now we’re planning a girls’ trip to Bali – no boys allowed.
TL;DR: Love might give you butterflies, but friends are the net when you fall. Keep ’em close, feed them snacks, and never let a date overshadow your day-one squad. 💪